December 7, 1939
It was afternoon. Thakur was talking with a kirtan singer, Bahuballav Goswami by name.
Thakur said, “Some seed falls on rocks, some among brambles, and some on good ground. It is the same libido at work. Everything depends on where it strikes and gets set. Once it gets properly set on a Sat-Guru, the job is done.”
Pointing to one of us, Thakur said, “You with your sarcastic remarks. If you could use them for the sake of Ideal, you would be pouring honey into people’s ears. Some weep out of repentance. If they could do it for Ideal, they would flood many, to put it mildly. There is no need to curb passion and anger ; rather, the greater they wax the better. All that is necessary is to regulate–them for Ideal’s use. If they are obliterated, with what can one do the work of Ideal ? And religion too has its acid test here. ‘I worship daily, I love God ; yet my skill and agility are not what they should be. I am not enjoying an abundance of life.’ What is this ? If I fall into such a plight, I must know that there is something radically wrong with me. Whether one is looking for wealth or not, wealth is bound to embrace one who walks in the path of Ideal. Wealth that has service for its foundation is proof that a man is leading a genuinely religious life. That is why it has been said in Chaitanya Charitamrita :
‘Wealth and light pervade this world entire, For love that’s void of riches I have not least desire.’
But one who loves his Ideal in order to attain a certain position or level, or for the sake of gaining wealth, does not get anywhere. It is even , said, ‘The desire for liberation is the worst of all obsessions.’ Everything settles down if one’s fancy falls upon Ideal. Love for his sake sprouts in Jaajan. All spheres of the brain become active in Jaajan. Knots and obsessions built around petty desires gradually work loose.”
After a long discussion Thakur concluded, “There used to be a Bharadwaj University, Basistha University, Shandilya University, etc. These will have to he built up again for the revival of culture”. Sri Sri Thakur talked a long time to Goswami in this mood.
Afterwards Goswaini came to us and said, “I am a religious instructor to thousands. Narrating sacred literature is my profession. I have seen tots of holy men and pandits. But it is for the first time that today I have understood the real import of Dharma, and I know I shall not get again such a guide in my effort for becoming. So I have decided to take initiation this very day. I have been misinterpreting many things. Now I shall have the chance to correct them.”
Sri Sri Thakur was sitting on a cane stool under a thatched shed. Kesto-da, Gopald-a and others were standing by. All of a sudden Sri Sri Thakur’s teacher came. Thakur stood up out of reverence and called for a chair. The tutor took the chair brought by Gopal-da, after which Sri Sri Thakur took his seat.
In the course of conversation Thakur said, “I used to meditate excessively. Meditation without activity led to some strange insensitiveness. It was as though I could feel no sensation, good or bad, happy or sorrowful. The tremor of life that had been mine left me, I became something like solid. That was a veritable hell. Then I began to put my mind to work, and then my original condition returned. Children who do not take any interest in domestic affairs, or who are otherwise not actively engaged suffer also an impairment of receptivity for studies in their brains. Those who have the urge to give something to their parents are bound to rise. In those who do not do anything for their parents and family but go about doing things for neighbors some abnormality has crept in. And over-zealous, excessive sympathy for women speaks of mere sexual throbbing.”
Sri Sri Thakur asked me, “Did you do . Swastyayani yesterday ?” I answered, “Yes.” Thakur said of me to someone standing by, “He is unable to collect oblations. He is quite incapable of it”.
Kestoda said, “Eight fetters fall off in begging.”
Sri Sri Thakur : “It is very true. Collecting oblations for the Ideal builds and expands a man from within.”