January 27, 1940
Sri Sri Thakur was sitting on a cane stool. It was morning. Kesto-da was reading out couplets written in folk style as dictated by Thakur. Jogesh-da, Jogen-da, Biren-da and others were standing near.
Discussing the subject matter of one of the couplets, Thakur said, “Man should tell his wife after marriage, ‘Look here. To look after my parents, my brothers and sisters and all the family is your whole and sole business. I do not look for anything for myself from you.’ It is always better to look after one’s own necessities. But parents must be served -, you yourself should serve them and have others do so. If, instead of this, out of compassion for your wife you say, ‘Poor girl! Physically quite incapable of it .’ What inconsiderate parents!’ You are ruined—turned into sheep. Just think of the number of donkeys that pare the vegetables for their wives, look after the children and run errands to please them! Have they any personality ? If the wife gets the slightest cough, the husband is stopped dead in his tracks and cries, ‘I’m done for!’ At this groaning and moaning the wife understands, ‘I’ve got this bird right where I want him.’ In such a situation, instead of caving in, a husband should say, ‘You can’t lie down on the job just for a little cough. You’ve got my parents to look after.’ This sets the woman right. She thinks, ‘Well, here’s a tough nut’. Of course, if she is really sick, that is a different matter. Then one may take up the service with one’s own hands. If the wife lays obstructions in the way of one’s Ideal, it’s no use arguing or explaining. Keep firm on your path. This flattens her. Gradually she stops her twitching and squirming—like a goat after sacrifice.”“Whatever I may say, the fundamental thing remains : see to the fulfillment of your Ideal. All disorders will vanish if you are Ideal-centric. Man gets wife-centric, lost in the labyrinth of narrow, blind, passionate interests. The economic problem, disease, litigation, turmoil—these all result from it. One for whom I am the only interest, one who does for me, gets good everywhere. Have I not offered several lakhs of rupees to people? Not one of these accepting has progressed. They’ve all gone down.”